Thursday, October 2, 2008

An Upper Class Removal Company

They'll be trundling along the road in a dusty, beaten up old lorry with flaking sign writing and bits of rag hanging off strategic exits. You'll know them when you see them. When it comes to finding a removal company, there are some you just know aren't going to cut it.

The driver will launch himself out of the cab, complete with cigarette and three days beard growth that contains particles of breakfast.

Seeing a removal company like this turn up outside your door on moving day will cause even the sturdiest heart to drop. You just know things are going to get dropped, broken and do disappearing acts. After all, first impressions do count.

No such removal company will be seen hanging around outside prestigious establishments such as Sotheby 's auction house. However, they do still need such services and are quite particular about who they use, as are their customers.

Once this auction house is closed at the end of the day, it is time for the removal company to come in and move items that have been sold, either to their final destination or into secure storage. However, had they done this on the day of the visit of the American Ambassador they would have got more than they bargained on.

At the end of the day, the auction house was closing and staff were beginning to shut up shop. Doors were locked, lights were switched off from one central point and a dark, quite calm came over the place. All apart from one section. This was the section where the Ambassador, his guide and his bodyguards were still present.

Panic set in as the party thought they were under terrorist attack. The Ambassador and his wife were surrounded by the guards while the guide tried to find an exit that was still open. This was a blunder of astronomic proportions and I'm sure heads will roll. That could just look at it as an exercise in security - after all, everybody pulled together, it worked and the Ambassador was safe.

Can you imagine him being shuffled out the back door and being met by the removal company? Talk about undignified!

Still, at least it wouldn't have been the removal man with the bearded breakfast. No such person would be seen at such a place. This is for the disgustingly rich. The sort of rich that get offered a very exclusive Sotheby 's Master Card.

This Master Card will gain you access to private exhibitions and sales by invitation only. It will also provide free access to museums - like they need it! The car comes with many perks including special concierge treatment. Like the rich don't already get it? Surely, the only extras left to gain are the ones that involve you being carried to your room and placed in an iron lung?

That is, of course, if you choose not to use the points towards private visits, tours helicopter tours, VIP access to fashion events in Paris, New York and LA, private safaris or to buy yourself walk on parts in TV shows. The tone of owning this card has been lowered slightly in that the more you use it the more 'points' you gain but they have redeemed themselves by making these points amount to your own private auctioneer that will hold a charity auction for you.

Let 's hope they still have the sense to employ the non-breakfast holding bearded man from the removal company. This really puts to shame the reward of a fiver off your shopping that most store cards offer. The Sotherby 's Master Card is by invitation only - and only if you have over two million in assets.


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